To my Angel Brother

Everything I do in the years to come is to make you proud.

Remi taught me how to do everything. He taught me to withstand kicks to the stomach when we sparred in Taekwondo. He was the only man to have never gone easy on me in sparring, because he knew I was good enough. He proofread my essays, taught me about the Israel-Palestine conflict, showed me which news sources were credible or not (this one’s ironic), and kindly nudged me to support all the same football teams as him. (I’m sure he’s up there swearing at Arsenal’s performance lately). He was the person I looked up to the most in the world.

From the moment I was born, we were inseparable. Where there was Remi, there was Renite

Remi had wide, gentle eyes, the kind of eyes that were perpetually shining, emanating a friendly curiosity for the world and everything in it. But there was also a certain mischief in those eyes, one that I shared. Creating a beautiful kind of chaos was a trick we honed very early on. We were thick as thieves, and just as troublesome as them too when growing up.

Remi was the only person who could match my silliness. The only person I knew who had a passion for absolutely everything.

Theatre, art, poetry, music, human rights law, soccer (but he only referred to it as footy), fitness, languages and travel.

The first law of thermodynamics is my only solace. As energy can neither be created nor destroyed. The enigmatic, beautiful energy that was Remi Amir Gosal remains.

Remi is the cheers of fans at the pub when their team wins.

Remi is the girl advocating for Palestinian liberation at a protest.

Remi is the strength that keeps me from failing a lift.

Remi is the seventh grader avidly reading Greek philosophy.

Remi is the crescendo in a symphony.

Remi is the pulse of a crowd.

Remi is the hum of a thousand voices.

Remi is the vibrancy of a Rainforest.

His intricacies and sweet, goofy soul are scattered everywhere.

His love, and our love for him is everywhere.

Remi, I love you more than anything and am grateful to have had nineteen years on earth filled with you. You’ve taught me to be so strong and I can’t imagine what I would be like without you. Your impact is everlasting and for that I am grateful. I know your gentle, sweet spirit is still looking out for me from wherever you are. Thank you for being my big brother, my protector and now my angel. Everything I do in the years to come is all to make you proud. I love you.

Love Renite

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